have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
