Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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