My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
