I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
