I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you inspire me to be a worse person
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on a roof
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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