Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
