well you can't waste a boner
i wish my penis had a tongue
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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