the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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