so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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