That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
