therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
