You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
