Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
