dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
3pm strippers are depressing
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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