Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
