I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Someone shit on the floor
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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