I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize