The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
