I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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