is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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