I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
you made out with another girl for some wings
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
