I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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