I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
