She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
