I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
So squirting runs in the family.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
