sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
