For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
