Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
the day after is always just damage control
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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