Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Do vagina's smell?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
