I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
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I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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