hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
