Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
