just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
