i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
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I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
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Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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