i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
