Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize