sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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