I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
