Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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