I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
