I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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