the new term for farting is butt boxing.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
