I puked a lego.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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