I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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