the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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