I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
