dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
