the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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