Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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