Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Randomize
