New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
