So drunk, too bad you don't want this
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
