so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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