Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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