hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Randomize