she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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