so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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