Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
