went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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