He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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