I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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