so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
