I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
