Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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