small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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