Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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