there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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