I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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