How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
